Creeply

Imagine a time when those plastic covers on electrical sockets did not exist, a time before car seats, a time when a sling shot was considered a safe plaything, a time when secondhand smoke was still a myth, and a time when bell bottom jeans and John Travolta defined the world. I know this all seems like a fantasy but don’t kid yourself, it is the 70’s. Those few in number to actually survive the human catastrophe of “unsafe” kitchen ware and pogo sticks are probably your parents. They were hardened by the roughs of the world. They probably made it through the summer of 69 relatively unscathed and to tell truth they fixed all the things they screwed up. We now have car seats, plastic covers for our electrical outlets, we still have pogo sticks but now we have helmets, we replaced bellbottoms with skinny jeans and now we all idolize Robert Patenson, god forbid we mention the miracle called the I-phone or maybe the fall of the Berlin wall. Our parents raised us in a relatively safe world compared to theirs and what do we have to show for it? We have done nothing but copied all of the cool things from the past. We have stolen our parent’s dignity by destroying rock music, destroying fashion trends, destroying the coveted world of swing sets and parks in exchanged for our satanic video games and social networking sites, we have destroyed the world of pop culture by drooling over vampires instead of really manly idols like the greaser. I propose we take action! Let’s make this world a better place just as our parents did. We shattered social status quos in the United States by complete ignorance of past generations. Louis CK said, “We live in an amazing, amazing world and it’s wasted on the crappiest generation of spoiled idiots.” I hate to say it but it he is right. We live in a society ruled by convenience and it has done nothing but caused us to cry when Twitter’s server crashes. Is this the kind of technology dependent pretentious world suitable for our children? I think not. There is a simple solution. Go camping, stop buying things online the store isn’t that far away, spend your money before Florida get too full of idiots with retirement funds, don’t get an i-phone no matter the convenience, think before you speak your mind…kanye, use correct grammar, look both ways before crossing the street, and above all respect your parents and the world they have brought you into.

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